this is cool

I'm sitting down to force myself to blog. I promise nothing, but at least it's something.

*****

Est just txted me to ask if I want to audition for the RAG pantomime tonight. At last count I've auditioned for only two plays since I've been at uni and performed in none. This, for a drama student, doesn't look good. But here's the thing, it's a big thing and the thing is that I don't actually think if I got into a play I'd be able to hack it. At the moment I have only 8 hours of lectures a week, plus rehearsals, and then 15 hours at work, but I'm shattered. It feels sometimes like that's all I can handle. And that makes me feel pathetic, but it also makes me loth to waste even more of the little time I have here doing nothing at all.

*****

Catherine and Sam came home from France for the weekend sounding relatively unchanged in terms of accent. I don't know how I'd convinced myself that they'd pick up accents when all they're speaking is English with English people and French to French people, but still. I think I'm really gonna need to hear that Franglais twang.

Cat and I sit in the union looking terribly chic, listening to a man with a lovely voice, nursing drinks and cigarettes. Perhaps to compensate for the fact that we fancy ourselves rotten, talk turns to the important things. The God things. And I say that I'm not ruling it out, I'm keeping it at a distance. That if I'm wrong, so wrong about how I'm living my life now then I'm gonna have to wait for God to come to me. Because when I went searching for him I just got lost, so to speak, and there were too many tears for my liking.

Back at the house we talk verses, and the bit in Hosea - it's funny how quickly the numbers have left me - that Tracey gave me at the end of last year, and that was given to Catherine as well.

I will lead her into the desert and speak to her there, I will win her back and she will give herself to me as she did when she was young.

And it's a comfort, but a strange kind of comfort, because I don't know how happy I'd be about being won back.

*****

I promised Catherine and Steph that I'd blog more often, so I'm going to. I have broadband in my room again now, which is wonderful, so I really have no excuse except for the horrendous block that appears in my head when I open up blogger.

So I've decided to resurrect my part in that was cool, Becci's project for the appreciation of the simple things. I don't think I have very many big things to say so the little things seem like a great place to start.

If you're wondering, I keep it
<-------over there.