i could've bombed tonight. sometimes i think, why do i do it?

The buzz is back.

We did the 2005 Black Tie dinner at church tonight, I was the compere for the cabaret section. It was cool, there's so many thoughts going round in my head that might be gone by later this morning but, oh I'm tired.

I'll come back tomorrow, get out my thoughts about compliments and comedy and self-criticism and painful shoes and giving gifts back to God and feeling good about oneself and somehow confused about oneself but...

Mainly. I just want to say that it's back.

The buzz that was missing from the performances I did last term, the gut wrenching fear, the adrenaline, the calm, the hyperactivity - the warm fuzzies that come after. It's back. Arsing around in a fancy dress with a microphone and some awful jokes and IT'S BACK.

Can you hear that thwup thwup sound? That's the blood singing through my buzzing, drama student veins.

S'cuse me, I've gotta go get down on my knees and say thank you.