saints and valentines

I hate Valentine's day. I think the story of St Valentine is fantastic, the guy who defied the Roman authorities to marry young soldiers and their sweethearts (apparently the emperor thought single men fought better). But I hate this day on principle. I blame Valentine's day for the invention of gift-wrapped romance. Roses and chocolates and "I wuff you" teddy bears and every single other completely meaningless token. It's just such bollocks, it's like the biggest scam that greedy companies have ever pulled and we keep on falling for it! Chocolates and shit like that don't mean anything. How romantic, a present identical to millions of other presents being given to millions of other people across the country, how did you know?!

I think this is why I'm a horrible girlfriend. I love romantic things but I hate meaningless gestures. Last Valentine's day someone bought me roses. It was lovely, I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't like roses. I like tulips. Unfortunately, someone has decided that roses are what you should buy your girlfriend, so that's what girlfriends get.

But... I really don't buy this whole "Valentine's day was just invented to make money and make single people feel like crap". I think the idea of a day when you take a while to make the person you love feel special is ace, we should all be doing stuff like that more often. Maybe it's just me, Valentine's is just another day when I'm single.

One thing I have noticed is that there's a lot more couples around recently. All of a sudden there's couples kissing, everywhere I go. I blame Valentine's day. No one wants to be alone at the time of year when sex and love are the most important things in the world, maybe we're all madly trying to pair off before the big V day. I suppose when the whole developed world is rubbing it in your face that you're single, anyone's better than no one. Maybe musical hearts and anatomical chocolate mints are better than no presents at all.

*****
Drama, Wil looks at my folder and reads out the verse (Isaiah 40:1) that I've written there.
"Are you into the bible?"
"Yeah"
"Are you a bible basher or something?"
"Yeah..."
"I have a question, do you believe in creationism?"
"Um..."
"Do you believe the world was created in 7 days?"
"Er, I believe that those stories are symbolic rather than literal, God's outside time so 7 days is a silly way of putting it... It's just to help us understand how he created the world."
Later today.
"Oh yeah, the bible, that reminds me. Fi, Noah's Ark. How the hell did he fit all those animals in one boat? Do you really believe he did that?"
"I don't know, I haven't really thought about good ol' Noah for quite a while..."
"Because, that must have been a fucking big boat, there's a lot of animals in the world... How did it float? And did he get all of the animals from every continent? How did he do that? How did he get them to his giant boat?"
"I don't know! That's Old Testament, I'm really bad at the Old Testament. I'm a New Testament chick myself."
"True. If you were an Old Testament chick wouldn't you technically be a Jew?"
"Precisely. I'm a Christian. Don't blame us Christians for the Old Testament, we're past it, we've moved on!"
Then someone accused me of anti-semitism and I had to backpedal pretty damn fast.

Seriously though. I think we Christians must be doing something badly wrong, if the first thing people think of when they hear the word 'bible' is Noah and creationism. They don't ask about Jesus or the gospels or the ressurection. They ask about homosexuality and women's rights because as far as the wider world can see, that's all the Bible is - a giant violation of logic and liberal thinking.

It's like we're telling jokes and no one's laughing, they're not even hearing the punchlines. It's not because the jokes aren't funny, it's because we're telling them all wrong.

I'm listening to: Suzanne Vega, Blood Makes Noise
I'm feeling: Slightly gassy, but otherwise good.
I recommend: "The Happiness of the Katakuris" - crazy Japanese people burying bodies in the garden of their hotel, with random sections of animation. The weirdest film I have EVER seen.
I don't recommend: Trusting George Bush. Is it me, or was his last speech exactly the same as one we've heard before, but with the 'q's replaced with 'n's? Deja vu... If that man brings about the end of the world, I'm gonna be distinctly pissed off.