pull it together, love

You can't remember if you've showered yet today.

You know you've eaten, you know you've slept, you know you've drunk three and a half glasses of water, called Kate, txted next year's prospective housemates, updated some profiles, done some work but not nearly enough.

You tidied your room a bit, but haven't hoovered, spent far too long pissing about with music today.

You go to Pandora, type in a band you like, listen to some songs.

You go to Napster, download the ones you really liked, and listen to them again.

Your favourites, you put in a playlist and spend some quality time with them whilst eating, writing, painting your toenails.

The ones you really like you pick out of your Napster library and pay 79p for, unless your computer has lost them, in which case you have to go to options, change the target folder for your new downloads, redownload them and then pay 79p for them.

Then, you try to transfer them onto your phone using Disc2Phone, only to discover that WMA format is not supported by your phone. Huh.

You browse the internet for software that can reformat songs. You get some.

It doesn't work, you get some more.

You use it to convert some songs that you got off CD from WMA into mp3. It works. Hurrah!

You try it with songs you got off Napster. It doesn't work. Balls.

You email Napster and complain.

You eat lunch.

You receive a reply from Napster saying, why don't you use the Napster software for transferring music to a portable device?

You reply saying, because my portable device hates you, and so do I.

Napster says, try burning them onto a CD first.

So you dig out the CDs you bought over the holiday and burn three CDs worth of Napster tracks that you bought for 79p each having already downloaded them twice on account of your computer losing them the first time round, thus converting them into mp3 files.

You then rip them back from the CD onto your computer, and pluck them from the evil clutches of Windows Media Player, transferring them onto your phone before the bastard can do whatever it did to make them unusable in the first place.

Realise that every single track on your phone has no name or artist.

Spend considerable amount of time renaming and sorting every last one of them.

Call your parents to find out how to wind your watch up.

Decide to go for a walk and listen to your new music.

Spray on some deodorant, look at your hair in the mirror and think, have I showered today?

Smell your armpits and think, you know, I really can't remember if I have.

Say, cock it, and go out anyway. There's music to listen to and work to avoid doing.