this academic factory

Today, an exam, three trips to the library, the beginning of the world's worst essay plan, more of my Space, Body, Design logbook.

I suppose there must be a point to all this. Actually, I know there must be, because of the 5 books I withdrew today, only two of them are in any way related to my course. I don't have to do this. I want to do this. Quite what the point is I'm not sure.

I think about 3 hours of sleep last night. Possibly a correlation between pro-plus and seasonal insomnia, possibly not. I tried meditating, which was so utterly frustrating, I was sure I was doing something wrong. At about 6 I realised how incredibly dire it would be for me to show up to my exam with no sleep behind me and decided to force myself to sleep. I rolled over and listened to my breathing for a while, and I suddenly realised that my mind was as beautifully empty as I'd wanted it to be earlier. Nice. Somehow typical.

I shouldn't be going out tonight. It's that simple. I'm exhausted and I have obscene amounts of work to do for Friday, but I don't care. This is my last opportunity to get wasted with my cohorts this term, both Est and Kate are Djing and besides, Tom's already bought me a ticket. I'm going. Out with the pro-plus, on with the boots.

When I say stuff like that, you lose all sympathy for me, don't you?

Right now, I'm about to take a nap. My back pain from almost two weeks ago is back with a vengeance and my wisdom tooth is sore. On the plus, the pro-plus, I'm going to have a fantastic time tonight. My last night at the union '05 and I intend to rave until my eyeballs melt.

Yeah, I like tonight...

PS. My dad just txted me to tell me that they have Christmas work available in my local pub. Shit. I finally come round to the idea of not having a job and then I find one. Better take those books back...