centenary

This is my 100th post.

Woohoo!

Not entirely honest. About 10 of those 100 posts are not actually on Angelic Fruitcake for reasons of them being crap, boring, too personal or just plain unfinished. There's also a couple that I posted, left for several months and then took down in the oops, people I know might actually read this thing cull that occurred a few weeks ago. I had to take down some corkers, but corkers that it really wasn't wise to post publicly, so...

To commemorate this shocker of an anniversary, I thought I'd give you some more Vital Statistics.

5,000,000 = hours I have spent blogging rather than doing something else.

278 = number of dodgy similes and other imagery that I have used in my pursuit of the truth. Seriously, who's gonna go through and count them?

91 = times that I have mentioned God on this site.

35 = times that I have used the word shit, shitty or shithead on this shite. I mean site.

23 = times that I have used the word fuck, fucking or motherfucker on this site.

15 = websites that have told you to go to.

13 = different people that have commented on this blog. Thanks guys!

12 = times that I have mentioned Jesus on this site.

9 = months that I have been blogging.

7 = seconds since I realised that if you click on one of the coloured spots at the top of this page you'll get magically transported to 24-7prayer.com. I never even meant for that to happen but it did.

6 = blogs on my blogroll. Oh, it sounds like bogroll. I get it now.

5 = blogs that I have started reading because of other people's blogrolls.

4 = times that the mentions of God and Jesus have been blasphemous. By the way, two of them were omigods that I quoted from someone else and the other two were big, loud, heartfelt goddams!

3 = members of the Duncalfe family that have commented on my blog and made me feel special.

2 = times that I've felt like never blogging again.

1 = times that my involvement in the blogging phenomena has gotten me into trouble. Not my fault, you understand.

Since I've been a blogger, I've...

Become a fan of making lists, sat my a-levels, lost a relative, lost a boyfriend, been rejected, dyed my hair, cut my hair, bought a new chest of drawers, hit rock bottom, learnt basic html, figured out how to work my brother's digital camera, decided to quit my job, thought about death too much, accepted offers at two universities, decided not to do a gap year, started wearing make-up, realised that I want to get married, been to my first protest, realised how much I love writing, realised how much I love blogging, started listening to Suzanne Vega, joined the gym, started writing a book, stopped writing a book, created a name for the congealed mass of writing that is my life's creative work thus far, lost my glasses twice, my phone twice and my passport once, had my braces removed, bought new glasses and decided that i NEED contact lenses, bought The Communist Manifesto, had very big crushes on at least 5 people, been in 4 plays, been a sound technician for one play, done 24-7 at my church, been the compere of a cabaret, met 4 American people, received an email from Paul Kingsnorth, been flogged with a rubber chicken called Jean Claude and been to see Idlewild.

And finally...

Things I have yet to do.

Figure out what bandwidth is, tell you about the Black Tie, tell you about Emilie's nipple plasters (WHOOPS!), make an About Me page, find something interesting to put on the Listings page, update my blogroll, defeat the Bad Place, show you a picture of my new very red hair, watch Pulp Fiction, explain about Jean Claude the rubber chicken, post pictures from my Leaver's Ball, remind you that it's my BIRTHDAY ON THE 29TH OF JULY, write a list of reasons why Pete Duncalfe is Uncool (no, I haven't forgotten), tell you why 11:38 is the luckiest time of day and, oh yeah, post that picture of Phil kissing another guy...

Here's to another happy (and by happy I mean expletive-laden) hundred!

PS. Sorry Emilie.

PPS. Sorry Phil.

PPPS. Sorry Jean Claude.