how to have a better friday

Note: The shitter your Thursday, the better your Friday will feel. The threat of failing a course and spending two thirds of your waking hours in bed will help give your Thursday the quality it needs to ensure that Friday is sweet. Also, try yawning a lot, like a lion or tiger.

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Try your hardest not to wake up in the morning. Consider taking more herbal sleep aids in order to avoid having to live through this day. Spend a few valuable moments hating everything before eventually getting out of bed to answer a call of nature and realise that, huh, getting out of bed doesn't physically hurt today. Your joints aren't hurting today and, huh, you've been conscious for about an hour and you haven't yawned yet.

Huh.

Get showered, put on clothes that make you feel good and tidy your room. Have Tom over for lunch and realise how much better you feel today. Play a hasty and dangerous game of Monopoly in the corridor and realise with great hilarity that Kosovo is in fact in Eastern Europe, not the Gulf like you always thought.

Go to your seminar and really enjoy it. Discover that your presentation will be on the kind of theatre that you like the most, the kind of theatre that got you into this sort of thing in the first place, and remember why it is that you picked this degree over Sociology and Film Studies.

Walk home and don't feel tired. Sing a song about how wonderful it is not to be tired, put on your pyjamas and dance to Black Eyed Peas while you eat the sandwich that Tom bought you.

Knock on Est's door with a beat that could start a rave in a nunnery. Scream "AIYA NAPA" and then head off to pay your library fines, totalling a queenly £25 between the two of you. Get back to Crusters and make a vow to one day relieve yourself in the bushes outside.

Eat some frozen sweetcorn and wash the drugs down with Coca Cola, not because you should, but because you can.

Hands and knees, pray for tomorrow to be as good. Sleep til morning. Repeat.