getting serious

Playing piano is not something I ever put much effort into.

I started getting lessons at junior school, when I was about 7. I wasn't exactly a natural. I tried, really hard, I wanted so badly to be as good as the other kids who'd been playing since they could walk, who seemed so much better than me. Well, they were so much better than me. The problem was that, after my initial enthusiasm where I played all the time when I sat and did my exercises (I am C, middle C, I can now play mi-ddle C!) until my parents were on the verge of nervous breakdown, I still wasn't any good. And because I didn't get my instant results, I got de-motivated, I stopped trying, and still didn't get any better.

My shameful secret? I didn't get to Grade 1 until I was 13. That's 6 years after I started playing. If you're not familiar with musical grading, that's an appalling amount of time to achieve nothing in. By that time, kids my age were 4 or 5 grades ahead of me, and I felt crap. The worse I got, the less I tried and vice versa.

I swapped to a new teacher, my boyfriend-at-the-time's older sister, Vicky, and came on in leaps and bounds. I did grade 1 and 2, skipped a grade and was getting ready to do the big number 4 when college commitments and lack of time meant that I had to give up. What did I learn? The same damn thing that any music student with half a brain cell learns (a lot quicker than I did) - you can't get better unless you work at it. You have to take it seriously, or you'll go nowhere.

The thing is, that rule hadn't applied to me before. Without sounding too much like an egomaniac, I found school easy, because I was just good at it. I came out on top in things, tests and exams, because it's just my thing. I'm a very academic person, over the years I've even come to like it. I am a geek. I embrace it. I am no longer ashamed. The thing is, I was used to doing well with the minimum amount of effort. I never tried particularly hard, it just happened. It's the way I've always done things.

Guys, I have to be honest with you, I'm a fluke. I'm secretly terrified that someday someone's gonna figure me out and take my good grades away from me because I don't try hard enough to deserve them. That sounds awful, but it's true. I'm just lucky in that respect. But, my lord, I appreciate it.

Here's the point (yes, I have one. yes, it's about god, gasps of surprise all round, deal with it).

I spoke at St Mary's on Wednesday about Bible study, and how having a good solid knowledge of the bible and an actual understanding of what your faith is about will help you so much when life gets tough. What I wanted to say, but didn't, is that there's no point in even being a Christian unless you're prepared to be serious about it.

If there's one thing I've learnt, it's that a commitment to God actually means something. It's not lip service, it's something real. It's agreeing to change your life to fit with what God wants, obeying him and serving him. Jesus Christ carried a cross, he didn't say we were forgiven, he showed us, he made a sacrifice that was actual, tangible. It was real.

It's so easy when new people come to Church to skirt around stuff like bible study and obedience, because it's not attractive. Two salesmen are trying to make a deal.

Salesman 1: Hello there madam, would you like to come to church? You'll have to make a life-changing commitment, spend some good solid hours with your nose in that there book and learn to be obedient. That's right, just like at Sunday school!

Salesman 2: Hello there madam, would you like to come to church? You'll get the security of God's love, a whole new social circle, some cool music and the opportunity to show off your talents and, if you're clever, you won't have to make any effort at all! Don't be silly, you don't have to be obedient, that's so traditionalist...

Ok, so that's a harsh view of it, but it is, sadly, accurate. It's so tempting to skip out the boring stuff, the stuff that no one wants to hear because you don't want to scare people away from church. You figure, once they've known God, the stuff about the bible and all that, the serious stuff will just come naturally.

So, I'm 16 years old, and I'm a Christian. Let's just say, I chose Salesman 2. Faith like a scrap of paper that flew away the minute the wind blew, the minute there was a boy around, the minute something more exciting than church came along.

That's the problem. Bubblegum, popcorn Christianity is all very well for getting young people into church and keeping it 'hip', but by acting like all there is to life with God is youth group and Soul Survivor once a year, we're denying people something so important. If new Christians aren't encouraged to get serious about their faith, to get some biblical roots down, to become spiritually mature, the minute the wind blows, they'll be gone. They'll never know how awesome it feels to know that your life is truly in God's hands, they'll never understand how deep this relationship can go. Personally, it's only since last summer, when I decided to 'get serious', that I've really figured out what this God thing is about. It's so much better, so much more fulfilling than I thought life could be before.

It makes me so sad to think that people can come so close to being whole with God, only to miss out because they never understood that, like a marriage or a friendship, you have to work at living a life for God.

I like to think of it as being a challenge rather than an invitation. Forget salesmen, there's no deals to be made with God. No special offers, give this life, get the next one free (ha!). No money off, taking down the price to make the offer sweeter.

Not a bargain, a challenge. Picture a ringleader, a fitness instructor, whatever floats your boat. It's difficult, it's dangerous, it's no picnic in the park. It's giving everything you've got, it's giving your whole life back to the one who gave his for you. It's something serious, and you have to take it seriously or you won't ever get anywhere and then, what's the point?